Monday, July 27, 2009

Happiness vs. Joy

Last night after I went to bed I was feeling pretty great. And I realized why that was. There is a profound difference between happiness and joy.

Happiness is getting a new camera. Or a new evening gown for the Marine Ball.

Happiness is going to Egypt. Or Sri Lanka.

Happiness is getting that super job you applied for.

Happiness is seeing that rerun of the only episode you missed from your favorite tv show.

Happiness is great. It is not, however joy.

I try to call all my children every week, since, when I'm living overseas, its not so easy for them to call me. I am not, at the moment, overseas, however, and I am not quite as filled with free time.

Saturday night my second daughter, Alyssa, texted me right as I was going to bed. I have a freaking awesome text alert on my new phone (put that alert, along with the freaking awesome new ring tones into the Happiness is... category). But it is really loud, and rather annoying when you're trying to sleep. So I put the phone on vibrate for the night, just in case. And then, on Sunday morning, I forgot to put it back on ring. And I left it in the bedroom.

I spent the day with my oldest daughter, Cassie, and her husband and daughter, Ben and Evie. Also with my youngest son, Joseph. I even went to choir practice with them. I've been having a wonderful vacation here. Later on Sunday afternoon, I looked at my phone, and realized that all three of my other children had called. I called Alyssa back and we had a great talk. Then I called Andrew, just in time for him to go to a meeting. He promised to call me when it was over. I called Daniel next, and right in the middle of our conversation dinner was ready. So we agreed that I'd call him again afterward. Which I did. Wonderful. Later, Andrew called again, and in the middle of THAT conversation, my husband, Sam, called. I detest call waiting; I think it's one of the rudest things ever invented, but when Sam calls from Africa I can't really call him back, so I take the call. Yet another super talk. I then called Andrew back, and we had a nice long talk.

After I went to bed I realized that what I was feeling was joy. Not the happiness that comes from buying something cool or seeing something new in the world, but the deep-down joy that comes from being surrounded with people you adore and who love you.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said something I was blessed to hear twice lately. I can't at all remember the exact words, but it was essentially that Heaven can't really be heaven if I'm not there with all my loved ones. These aren't just people I've grown used to being around. Its not just a nice idea for us all to be together forever. Make no mistake, I've got some really great friends that I'd really like to have around me in the eternities, but these people--my husband, children, grandchildren, parents, and siblings--are the ones that will make it heaven. These people are a part of me; they are infused into my soul.

And that's joy.

PS Lewis, I'm waiting for your call.